Over the last week, I’ve watched the moon reveal herself against clear midnight blue skies and it struck me that I’ve been watching my own reveal too. My feral nature has come alive and I’m reveling in the freedom that comes with living inside the skin of my truest self. With that freedom has also come challenges – not completely new challenges, but they have a new level of intensity I haven’t dealt with before.
I’m not sure how much faith to put in astrological meanings, but the information I’ve read about this full moon in Taurus got my attention. To paraphrase and sum up from different sources: The full moon in Taurus asks us to shed the layers of ourselves, allowing the most authentic self to shine. There have been some intense shifts and it’s time to release what no longer serves us.
Yes! I’ve had some “intense shifts” and it sure feels like time to let go of some things that just don’t work. It’s been quite a process, and one that continues to unfold.
I’ve always struggled to some extent with staying focused, organized and managing my time, but I managed well with occasional bouts of tears and frustration. With all the energy available to me now, and the projects I’m working on, tears and frustration have come in regular waves.
For a while, I felt convinced I had Attention Deficit Disorder and even talked to my doctor about taking medication. After tons of research, I’ve come to the conclusion that whatever my troubles are with focus and organization they aren’t serious enough to go to medication as the solution. Especially medication that has some profound effects on creativity and personality. The last article I read sealed my decision it described ADD as the result of having a brain that registers most things as boring, especially after focusing on them for a time, and as a result jumping to the next novel thought or activity; this doesn’t describes my experience.
Still, I’m grateful for the serendipity that led me to begin to investigate ADD because I can see my thought process more clearly in contrast to the process described for ADD. Rather than boring, I find even the most mundane aspects of life interesting and full of possibilities. I often feel flooded with creative ideas, and even after picking one idea to run with I see so many avenues and perspectives I can work with that it’s difficult to organize my thoughts. And because I find myself overwhelmed, not only is focusing a challenge, but I procrastinate to avoid the overwhelm. Along with all that, I’m also highly sensitive to environmental factors and the energy of the people around me. Yep, overwhelm and exhaustion!
I realize that I thought of being a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) as only having sensitivity to things outside of myself. I’m beginning to see that it can also be sensitivity to my own internal workings, whether those are emotions, thoughts or physical sensations and it’s time to create new rituals and strategies for navigating it all. I’m collecting new ingredients for making my magic in the world. They include things like timers, planners, and flexible structure along with more magical sounding things like creating rituals, diving deeper into spiritual practices and finding new ways to celebrate the gifts that come with being a HSP. Yes, it comes with challenges but I’m so grateful for the insights, experiences and learning that I’ve had as a result.
Passing along a wink and a load of appreciation to those of you who have listened to me and supported me as I processed all of this! My Sweet Man, Kira Elliot, Rachel Cole and Julie Daley– sending you my love and gratitude.
And big thanks to all of you who stop by here to check in on me! What’s the full moon revealing for you?