“Women try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are the wild ones”
– Muiccia Prada
Nothing changed – I haven’t lost weight, changed my nose or dyed my hair. I still have all my curves along with lumps and bumps. Still, when I looked in the mirror this morning, my wild self winked back at me – pure gorgeous!
I’ve written a short bio for a project I’m working on and I can see that age has brought with it the advantage of experience, so many crashes and stumbles from trying to follow rules I didn’t believe in along with the tiny and huge moments of breaking free. But I’m also recognizing that I’ve been living into this gorgeous freedom from the moment I first noticed that not everything made sense in the formula for living that I inherited from my family or my culture.
When I turned seven, I got retainers to straighten one little old crooked tooth. It made no sense to me – I liked my crooked tooth, the damn retainer hurt and eating ice cream wasn’t fun anymore. So I did the reasonable thing and buried the unholy apparatus in my grandmother’s vegetable garden. That didn’t make me bad, it just made me seven years old and up against some stubborn adults with crazy ideas about what smiles should look like. Sure, I ended up with another retainer, but to my credit I never told them where I buried the first one. Looking back, I’m sure that my grandmother must have found it eventually, but she never let on.
My life unfolded and I often found myself bucking against circumstances more baffling and painful than dental equipment. I’d feel helpless, but eventually I had to bust out of whatever straight jacket I ended up in even if I didn’t always think it through and ended up on my ass. With practice, it happens less often. For some things busting out happened within hours, days, a few months. A few traps took years.
Writing the bio has shown me that my wild, gorgeous freedom didn’t just pop up one day and say, “ok, you’ve weathered all the storms, you’re free now.” I’ve always been this gorgeous.
Let’s all step outside all the things that don’t make sense to us and experiment with following the pull of our heart’s intuition. We are all gorgeous. I promise.